Welcome to Another Episode of Thy Truth
In the previous episode I talked about questions to ask your partner before getting into a committed relationship. One of the questions was, “Do you know how to love me?”
This has to do with the five love languages – knowing the love language of your partner. It is the strength of a committed relationship to know and understand the love languages of your partner. You need to know your partner’s love language. You need to know what your partner likes. How they like it. Because you might just be expressing your love the wrong way.
So, there are five love languages and I’ve talked about this before. In fact, there is the primary love language and the secondary love language. Why it’s important to understand that your partners love language, you understand that there’s the main one. OK, she might like others, but there is a major one that is their love language. Not just for women. Men also have their love languages.
Let’s talk about the five love languages. Quality time, receiving gifts, affirmation,
acts of service, and physical touch.
Now these five love languages are expressed in various ways. How do you express the five love languages?
1. Affirmation
Let’s start with affirmation. Now, affirmation has to do with, I call it reassurance, this is the reassuring language. This is someone who encourages you, right? This is how it is expressed by encouragement. They encourage you. They listen to every detail. They appreciate everything you do. They empathize with you. They keep reassuring the love for you. Some people like affirmation. They just want that reassurance. They want you to appreciate them. They want you to listen and encourage them. Is that your partner’s love language? Is that your love language?
2. Quality Time
Number two, quality time. It can be expressed in ways that, well, as the name implies, quality time. They want to create beautiful moments together. Go on holidays together. Walk together. Do stuff together. Go to the gym together.
Now, imagine someone whose love language is quality time and the person is with someone who is always going on business trips a month in a row or they’re hardly around. And your partner’s love language is quality time. And when getting to a disagreement, you tell the partner, let’s assume the woman is the one whose love language is quality time.
And you come back from work or tired and made the money and you say, “Well, I sent you moneys. I had to go work.” But she’s saying, “But I need you here.” Yeah, I know. I get it. The things surrounding the other things. Yes. That are quite important to also look at. But what I’m just trying to say is now you think that you’re providing for someone whose love language is quality time is you are stressing your love.
But to the person whose language is quality time, that’s nothing. I’m not interested in the car you sent to me or I’m not interested in the trip. You know, you bought me a ticket to go to Dubai or whatever, but you’re not here. You’re not with me to spend the time in Dubai. Then that starts to bring problems when you don’t understand. That’s your part is love language.
3. Receiving Gifts
Number three, receiving gifts. Now they make you their priority. They give thoughtful gifts. Before you ask, they already know. They know what you want. They know what you need. You sneeze, it’s there! OK. And then it is sometimes even the small things that matter, they matter in a big way. It could be as you as a person might have everything but the person decides to do something really thoughtful, something that they know you enjoy, something they know you like. That’s how the love language is expressed, receiving gifts.
Now, imagine someone whose love language is receiving gift and you do the act of service, which is number four. Know what? Let’s talk about number four first.
4. Acts Of Service
Acts of service. How do you express this one? Like you do chores together or let’s assume breakfast in bed. You see, they want to help you. They want to assist you. They go out of their way to make the workload less for you. They want to partner with you. They just want to serve you as your partner.
A friend of mine who is in a relationship, who loves the acts of service from her husband, and even though he lacks in other ways, she would always say, this is one thing I appreciate. The fact that making breakfast is helping me make the boys, it’s getting them ready for school. If we’re going out, we can stop over at the market. He is fine with getting things for the house while I do stuff. So he’s always looking for ways to make the workload easier for her, and that is her love language.
And that’s why she can actually cope with other things because he actually understands that this is my wife’s love language, and he does it perfectly. OK. So if you know your partner’s love language, it just makes things a lot more easier to express your love for them. That doesn’t mean, of course, there won’t be issues in the relationship, but just because your own love language is quality time, you can’t use your love language to you can express it to your partners whose love language is receiving gifts because yeah, for nothing properly received, you can express it, but it will not be received.
5. Physical Touch
OK, and of course, number five, physical touch. There is some people whose love language is physical touch. That is self-explanatory!
OK, so it’s important to recognize your partner’s love language and express it the right way.
Thank you for listening
Meet you again at another episode of Thy Truth.
Finding Your Truth
with Efemena