Hello. Welcome to another episode of Thy Truth.

Yelling is a Red Flag!

If your partner yells at you, should you be concerned? Is this a red flag? Is yelling part of verbal abuse? When it comes to arguments in a relationship, I think it’s important. It means that you’re not suppressing your negative feelings. It means that you’re able to vent your thoughts to your partner. It means you’re not shutting up. It means that you can express how you feel. I would be very concerned if a relationship is without quarrels, or fight. It means there’s a problem. But yelling? Would yelling achieve much? No! Personally, I say no because I mean, as much as arguments are common in a relationship, yelling should not be a thing.
Once in a while, yes, you might raise your voices at each other to show your frustration and annoyance to a certain situation. But when it becomes a constant thing where you keep yelling, you cannot communicate without raising your voice and yelling at each other. It’s unhealthy. So you ask yourself what is the purpose of yelling? Are you trying to express the gravity of the situation of how your partner makes you feel or what they’ve done?

Yelling Induces Fear

Or are you trying to induce fear? Or you don’t even recognize when you yell because you grew up in an environment where yelling was normal. Or you yell because your partner provoked you. Your partner yelled as well. So you reciprocated by yelling as well. Whatever the reason is, it doesn’t make yelling right. If you’re trying to induce fear, it will be difficult for your partner to think while in a state of fear.

Become Calm Again Before You Go On

Makes me remember what my father used to do. If we do something very wrong or something that we know we’re going to get whooping. As soon as it comes in, he tries to avoid screaming or shouting at us because I think he knows that if he starts to shout and scream at us, he will get so, so much anger.
Or if we get more angry, and it will lead him to give us a whooping in that state of anger and we might get hurt. So instead he would look at us. He had this look on his face. And I think as time went on, we understood how he functioned. He would wait for us to be calm and wait for himself. So he would be calm as well. Probably when you relax in your sleep and in your you think, Oh, I’m free from this wahala, that’s when he wakes you up and tries to correct you while he’s correcting you, of course, with a whooping he’s calm he’s telling you why he’s doing what he’s doing, why you shouldn’t do what you did. Pretty much he’s calm very calm. And no one is yelling except you. You’re crying of course, because of the whoopimg. But he’s saying it in a very calm way. And trust me, it’s sinking right in.

Yelling Is Unhealthy in a Relationship

So yelling I think yelling is is unhealthy when you want to resolve a conflict in a relationship. It doesn’t help. Nothing productive comes out from yelling There’s several reasons why there’s no point in yelling at your partner, because when you do that constantly, when you keep yelling at your partner, you tend to call them names. And it’s not healthy.

Yelling leads to name calling

Have you noticed when you keep yelling, it gets to a point when you both yell at each other, you start to name call, you start to curse each other out. You B-I-T-C-H or you more man. Foolish woman. Ego. She goes, There’s so many things that can be said in the heat of the moment. You start to curse each other screaming at each other. And sometimes it can lead to physical abuse, intimidating your partner by yelling because you want to be heard. You want to be understood it actually doesn’t help in the long run.

Yelling leads to Withdrawal

Number two, people like me who stay away from confrontations. We don’t like confrontations, yell and much shut your partner down. They will not want to communicate. There just go to that shell to your shells and they don’t want to come out. At the end of the day, you’re not resolving the problem. You’re just making it worse.

Yelling Leads To Hurtful Words

Number three, while you’re yelling in the heated moment, in the heat of the moment, you might just say something wrong. You might just say something that you don’t even mean, something you cannot take back. You might say something very hurtful, something that would pretty much just sabotage you, your bond. And he will always remember it. She will always remember it even after you reconcile the issue might be gone, but they will always remember that word, those hurtful things. Even, like I said, you might not even mean it. You didn’t mean it. You just said it out of anger, but it stays.

Yelling Leads To Fights

Number four, yelling can get you into a fight. Yelling can get you into a fight mode where you react, which was I talked about it. You know, you get physical or in the flight mode where you’re silent, you just go moving into your shells. Yelling? It doesn’t help.
Now that you know how this affects your partner, how yelling doesn’t really solve anything.

What do you do?
Consciously Lower Your Voice

OK, if you’re someone who yells a lot, I mean, sometimes you raise your voice without even knowing that you’re yelling. Some people like that. They start talking before you know it. The tone of their voice just goes really high. So it does a problem if your voice is normally a five, if you start a conversation, you could start it would a two.

Talk About It With Your Partner

Since we’ve established that yelling doesn’t really help when there’s a misunderstanding, it’s better to just clear the hair if something is bothering you because they did something wrong, because they did something they shouldn’t have done. Is bothering you. Talk about it with them. If you find out your partner’s raising your voice in a loving way, in a mutually respectful way, talk about it with your partner. Let them know in a loving way, honey, or babe, whichever, you are raising your voice. I know it’s sometimes you situations that we just get you into the heat of the moment just so you know. Understand that this person is your partner. This person cares a lot about you. If not, you wouldn’t be in a relationship. When you have that understanding that you’re dealing with someone, your partner, and you understand that yelling one will not solve the problem.

Take time out

Maybe that would help. And then if you get angry, easily, focus your anger on something else. You know, if you’re someone who, you know, you’re going to get really angry and start yelling, getting out of a situation would help where you just walk away and you both understand this If it helps, why not? So you state what is bothering you and then you come back to it and deal with the problem.

Just put in the back of your mind that yelling at the top of your voice to intimidate, to try to solve a problem, to communicate, will not help. You communicate mutually , respectfully, where no one goes on a fight mode or a flight mode.
I hope this helps. Thank you for listening.

Sincerely
Efemena