Actions Speak Louder Than Words In Relationships

What do you do when your partner’s words do not match their actions? What do you do when what they’re saying to you don’t match what they do. It’s not a great feeling. It reminds you of the saying, actions speak louder than words.

You Want To Believe Them

Your partner’s behavior makes you wondering, keeps you guessing. They keep you assuming. You’re not sure if you should pay more attention to their actions, or if you should pay more attention to their words. You want to believe them so bad. You want to believe everything they say. But their actions, I mean, it’s almost like they know what you want to hear, but their actions don’t match. In fact, they’re so good with their words.

You Start To Doubt Yourself

You start to feel, “Oh, maybe I’m overreacting. Or maybe. Maybe I need to understand them better. Maybe I need to be more empathetic. Maybe I don’t get it.” Just calm down. I always say this when someone’s words don’t match their actions, you might just have to take it for what it is. I know sometimes. Personally I believe the worst case scenario but, I mean, you might not. It’s important that you understand.

Stop Making Excuses

You see, these mixed messages they give to you can be a red flag because their actions is pretty much serving as a warning to you. It might mean that you’re not compatible. So this is something you need to address before it’s too late. If you used to make excuses for them before, stop it. Stop making excuses for them. It will mess you up emotionally and otherwise. Look at the situation objectively.

Assess Their Behaviour Carefully

Ask yourself truly, are their words matching their actions and what does their action tell you? What does their words say or tell you about the kind of person that they are? When you can truly answer this question, I bet you will have the answer to that, to the whole question of what you should do. Because afterwards, trust me, you have this inner peace. So, I think you should focus more on the person’s behavior, what they show you, not what they say. It will show you who they are with your behavior.

Take Your Time To Get To Know Your Partner Better

I remember a story of a young lady who met this young man. They started dating and it was all lovey-dovey, you know, the feeling when you get into a relationship the first time. The first few days, first few weeks, it’s all butterflies. You know, you’re speaking to each other every day. You want to be around each other and all that jazz. So a week later, he proposes to her. That made her so excited. But then she told him, “Well, I want to say yes, but I don’t know you well enough.” Good for her! I can guess that some would just go ahead with it. But she said, I don’t know you.

Trust Their Actions Not Their Words

And he kept saying, “Well, what do you want to know? Ask me anything. I’m a good person. I will make you happy. I’m a good person. I love you. I’ll make you happy, you know.” OK. It was a nice feeling, but she didn’t say yes. Instead, the relationship continued. After a few weeks she noticed his behavior. His behavior didn’t change towards her. She started to notice certain things. What he would do to other people. How he treated his gatekeeper. How he treated the attendants. Whereever they would go, perhaps go to the supermarket, how he would talk to them, to the people attending to him.

The Way A Man Treats His Mother Is How He Will Treat You

She also noticed how unkindly he spoke to his mother. There’s a saying, the way a man treats his mother is how he will treat you. Anyway, this is also relative, I guess, but there’s some truth to that.

She saw all these behaviors. The way he treated other people. He never didn’t treat her badly but the way he treated others that made her wary. That was a red flag for her.

So, I always say, trust the actions, trust the behavior of what people, what they do because they reflect who they are.

Remember, actions speak louder than words. Trust it.
Thank you for listening.

Meet you again at another episode of Thy Truth.
Finding your truth
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